Grief is a normal process the mind has of bringing you back to balance after a painful loss - usually loss of a person or people,
but other loss as well, such as a job, your home, or any thing else important to you.
While grieving, you will notice various physical, mental and emotional states, and they will last, on and off, for anywhere from a
few days, to a number of months or even years, depending on how significant the relationship was to you, and how long it lasted.
If
you don't fight the process, but give yourself "a little slack", the intensity of the pain will gradually decrease and you'll
increasingly be able to get on with life. Trying to force yourself into "getting past it," before you are ready, doesn't
really work, and causes stress. If you allow yourself to grieve, acceptance will gradually come on its own.
Key
to processing grief is allowing yourself to be aware of, and feel your feelings (don't fight or ignore them.) Know
that a range of feelings and feeling-states is normal: sadness, anger, loneliness, being in denial, having "false hope", depression,
etc.
Tips The following tips will help you get through this period. But if grief becomes problematic,
counseling can help:
- Keep busy with routine chores; structure your time.
-
Try writing about what your feel - a daily journal can help.
- Talk is a healing medicine. Talk to people about
it. Letting people know what you're going through will help them be supportive. But, if you find yourself "wearing out
your welcome" with friends, consult with a psychotherapist.
- Pamper yourself! Now is not the time to push hard. Get
a massage, go for a walk in the park, take a soothing bath or go to a spa, get more rest and relaxation, buy yourself a (healthy)
treat.
- Don't make any significant changes in your life right now. Your decision making abilities are not at their
best during this time.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs. Alcohol is a depressant and will make you feel worse, and the numbing
effect of drugs will only drag out your grief and keep it from resolving.