Managing Grief and Loss
Grief is a normal process the mind has of dealing with loss - most often loss of a person,
but other loss as well, like a job, your home, or anything else important to you.
While grieving, you will notice various physical,
mental and emotional reactions, and they will last, on and off, for anywhere from a few months to several years, depending on how
significant the relationship was to you, and how long it lasted.
If you don't fight the process, but give yourself "a
little slack" during this time, the intensity of the pain will gradually decrease and you'll increasingly be able to get on with life.
But, trying to force yourself into "getting past it," before you are ready, doesn't really work, and causes stress. If you allow
yourself to grieve, acceptance will gradually come on its own.
Key to processing grief is allowing yourself to be aware
of, and feel your feelings (don't fight or ignore them.) Know that a range of feelings and states is normal while you are grieving:
sadness, anger, loneliness, being "in denial," having "false hope" at times, depression, etc. The following tips will help you
get through this period. But if grief seems to last too long or is too intense, counseling can help.
1. Structure
your time and keep busy with routine, familiar chores.
2. Try writing about what you feel. A daily journal can help
immensely.
3. Talk is a healing medicine. Talk to people about it. Letting people know what you're going through
will help them be supportive. But, if you find yourself "wearing out your welcome" with friends, consult a counselor or psychotherapist.
4.
Pamper yourself. Now is not the time to push hard. Get a message, go for a walk in the park, take a soothing bath, go
to a spa, get more rest and relaxation, buy yourself a (healthy) treat.
5. Don't make any significant changes in your life
right now. Your decision making abilities are not at their best while grieving.
6. Avoid alcohol and drugs.
Alcohol is a depressant and will eventually make you feel worse, and the numbing effect of drugs will only drag out your grief and delay
it from resolving.
Barbara Elbl, MFT, CEAP, CGP
Marriage and Family Therapist Ca Lic #33788
Certified Employee Assistance Provider (EACC #028021)
Certified
Group Psychotherapist (AGPA)
EMDR practitioner
Substance Abuse Professional
4333 California Street
San Francisco, CA 94118
415-681-1757
Call
now for a free brief assessment
EDUCATION CENTER
What is Psychotherapy?
What
is Counseling/Brief therapy?
What is EMDR?
What is (psychological) Trauma?
What
is Group Psychotherapy?
How do you find a good therapist?
Tips for Coping
Stress
Depression
Anxiety
Grief
or Loss